Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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