I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
