He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize