For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
