Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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