Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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