we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
