i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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