I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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