does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
