Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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