Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
