garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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