PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
