you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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