my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize