he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize