Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
