i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i out mim tonsoeep
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
