just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
