Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
