i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
