do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
