the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize