i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
