I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
