OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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