ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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