I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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