thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize