What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
