I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You left your phone here
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