I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize