Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
