hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
