I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
