Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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