I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize