i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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