Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
