He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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