While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
