i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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