Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize