I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
