I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
