smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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