I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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