similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so let's talk penis.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
