He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
