I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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