It's Friday. Sex?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
