Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
