I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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