just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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