I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
