JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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