Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
