There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
