I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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