areolas are like halos for boobs.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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