I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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