So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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