Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
