Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think my fart just growled at me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
