Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
