Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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