someone owes me an orgasm
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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