Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
