I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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