found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
