I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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