I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When are your genitals available?
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize