Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
