you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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