yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
