People in love make me want to vomit
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
