Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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