My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
