girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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